An LA detective is murdered because she has microfilm with the recipe to make cocaine cookies. A “Lethal Weapon” style cop team tries to find and stop the fiends before they can dope the nation by distributing their wares via the “Wilderness Girls” cookie drive.

The residents of a suburban high-rise apartment building are being infected by a strain of parasites that turn them into mindless, sex-crazed fiends out to infect others by the slightest sexual contact.

Emperor Wang (the Perverted) is leader of the planet Porno and sends his mighty “Sex Ray” towards Earth, turning everyone into sex-mad fiends. Only one man can save the Earth, football player Flesh Gordon. Along with his girlfriend Dale Ardor and Professor Flexi-Jerkoff, they set off towards the source of the Sex Ray, unaware of the perils that face them!

Chic socialite Melanie Daniels enjoys a passing flirtation with an eligible attorney in a San Francisco pet shop and, on an impulse, follows him to his hometown bearing a gift of lovebirds. But upon her arrival, the bird population runs amok. Suddenly, the townsfolk face a massive avian onslaught, with the feathered fiends inexplicably attacking people all over Bodega Bay.

Three high school virgins, suspended from school on a bogus graffiti charge, flee to the inner city in an attempt to live out the plot of The Catcher in the Rye – a book they neither have read nor understand. BINDLESTIFFS documents their struggles along the way as they surrender their virginities to vagrants, prostitutes, and crack fiends. Hot on their tail is Charlie, the deranged school security guard. Under the impression that the boys are planning a school shooting, he takes the law into his own hands to stop them and save America.